What Should We Name the Van? (These Were Our Family’s Best… and Worst Ideas)

 

We knew buying a van would come with a lot of decisions—layout, build, budget, all the things you expect when you step into something like this. What we didn’t expect was how hard it would be to name it.

At some point, it hit us… this thing needs a name. Not just something random, but something that actually fits what it is and what we’re going to do with it. So instead of overthinking it on our own, we went around the family and started asking for ideas.

That’s when things got interesting.

Zeke kicked things off with “Big Ben,” which honestly isn’t bad. It feels solid. But then he followed it up with “Big Sassy Sally,” and that’s where we started realizing this might not go the direction we expected.

Luke had two completely different approaches. One was “Gerald,” which feels like the name of a quiet guy down the street. The other was “The Beast,” which feels like it could climb a mountain or break something important. Not exactly the same vibe.

Ruby didn’t have a lot to say, but if she could name it, we’re pretty sure it would end up being “Ruby’s Dog House.” And honestly, if she ends up claiming the van as her own, that might be the most accurate name on the list.

Then Abby came in with “Jim.” And the reasoning behind it might be the best part. Her idea was that we could say we’re “going to the gym”… without actually going to the gym. Instead, we’d just go ride around in the van. That’s the kind of logic that’s hard to argue with.

Kristin landed on “Bob” and “Jim,” both of which apparently make sense in context, but to everyone else feel like inside jokes we’re not fully in on. Which somehow makes them more confusing and more entertaining at the same time.

As for me, I keep going back to our old Excursion, which we used to call “The Beast.” This van definitely has the size for that name, but it doesn’t quite feel the same. I also threw out “The Ark,” mostly because we’re loading a lot of people into it and taking it everywhere. That one might be a stretch… but it’s not completely wrong either.

So now we’ve got a list that includes Big Ben, Big Sassy Sally, Gerald, The Beast, Ruby’s Dog House, Jim, Bob, and The Ark—and somehow, none of them feel like the clear winner yet.

If you want to hear all of these straight from the source, we put together a short video with everyone sharing their ideas. It’s definitely worth watching just to hear how seriously some of these suggestions were delivered.

👉 https://youtube.com/shorts/5c-gGhRUVXw

At this point, we’re opening it up. If one of these names stands out to you, let us know. If one of them absolutely shouldn’t win, definitely let us know that too. And if you’ve got a better idea altogether, we’re all ears.

This van is going to be a big part of what we do moving forward. It’s going to carry a lot more than just people—it’s going to carry road trips, conversations, memories, and probably a little bit of chaos along the way. And if the naming process is any indication, we’re already off to a strong start.

So… what should we call it?